Tuesday, June 21, 2011


I hope Ian Curtis - where he is now - won't mind the silly joke with his fantastic song. (The joke isn't mine, by the way, I found it in some blog.)
I probably will be offline for the next couple of weeks. It's time for a break and to trying to regain energy and inspiration. But I am quite confident I will be back with fresh ideas. Thanks to all visitors for your interest and very special thanks to those of you who have been so kind to comment! See you...

Friday, June 10, 2011


"Catamite"... I had to look up the word. The german expression that ocurred to me when I wrote the post is "Lustknabe", literally translated as "pleasure boy", and practically self explaining. See also here.

Monday, June 6, 2011


I remember the thrill when I - and most of german TV audience - first saw her in an episode of the popular crime series "Tatort". The series is quite well crafted, for german TV standards, but still a mainstream consumption product. No one expected this! The story was daring, almost scandalous on 70's TV: A love-affair between a schoolgirl and her teacher, naturally ending in disaster. I doubt that this film would be possible on primetime on german TV today, not because of the story in itself, but because today's awareness of child abuse would have minded the voyeuristic delight with which was displayed the nudity of a 15 year old actress and her sexual relation with a man twice her age! The direction was by the up to that day unknown Wolfgang Petersen, the photography was suggestive, and there was Nastassia! I was mesmerized, and frustrated in various ways.

First, that I was seeing the episode with my parents, and that I had to make an awkward effort to hide my arousal. I didn't see it at that time, but today I guess my father must have had the same problem... And then there was no chance to review the episode! No cable TV, no video. Well, there was VHS, but not in my home, nor was "Tatort" available.

From then on, I spent my time looking out for her, in magazines, on TV, in movies later. Luckily that yielded easy results, because her part in that Tatort was her breakthrough in Germany, and she appeared in every TV-magazine and other magazines, later in Playboy... I began collecting pictures of her, cutting them out of the mags - which I made disappear then for the reasons Jamie explained in his post - an hid them between the pages of my books.

I was not so young at that time anymore, seventeen, and though I couldn't have them at home, I had access to Playboy and Penthouse through a friend of mine, who lived in a family where he could leave them open in his room. Never without embarrassment - retiring with the mag to the bathroom in somebody else's house -, I made avail of them too. But the appeal of their much more explicit content - well, not at all explicit compared to today's standards - did not live up to the apparently much more harmless pictures of Nastassja.
Wanking over her pics, I sometimes imagined fucking her. But that was rare. More frequently I imagined just worshipping her, being her slave, kissing her feet, licking her pussy, being exceptionally allowed, as a reward, to kiss (not suck!) her tits...

And then, in my girly phases, I imagined being her. Imagined being Nastassja Kinski, not only looking like her, but having her life!
I began to envy her, to realize the great injustice of fate that it was her and not me who was a girl, and not only so beautiful and adorable, but also had the opportunities, the sexual opportunities, that come with it.
For exihibitionism, to begin with, for sex, of course, and for any kind of kink. If you look like her, you have no problem to find someone who'll do with you whatever you are dreaming of. I believe, in her case, she did take advantage of it. At 16, she was being fucked by Roman Polanski, and after all she was Klaus Kinski's daughter, that maniac's, famous for playing the pervert on screen, and for being it in his real life too.

But I know of a lot of beautiful girls who don't or don't to the extent they could and - in my modest opinion - should. What a waste!

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

My admiration

Look at her. She is a normal young woman. Pretty, not overly pretty. Well built. Her tits fit beautifully with her her youthful body, but they are very small. No tattoo, no piercings, an all too conventional haircut. This really is the girl next door.

Is she? She is kneeling on some strange piece of furniture, feet and hands locked in a block. She is fixed, she cant flee, she is being spanked, she is screaming of pain. I don't doubt her pain is genuine. The lack of any attire, the environment which features some other bdsm articles like the cage in the background, but also quite homely oak furniture and an equally homely and very ugly carpet, prove that here we are not in front of a scene set up but professional porn producers and actors, but in front of real people. Amateurs who are doing what they are doing because they love it. (That's what the word "amateur" literally says, by the way.)

The fact that it's all genuine, gets to me immensely. What makes a pretty young woman freely accept to be spanked so hard that she cant help but scream with all her lungs? - And to be photographed, while being thus humiliated, and show her face?

Oh, how I envy her! For her femininity, her youth, her tiny tits, and for her courage and ability to give herself up so fully to her desires, her needs. Even if they mean real pain, real humiliation, even if it means to live far from the conventional, far from the approved by society. She has got her priorities right. She has lept, out of convention, out of anonymity, into being who she really is.

I envy her. I admire her more.

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

A bus ride

The most important thing

I’ve been asked many, many times by followers to my blog what makes a FemDom Hotwife Cuckold relationship work, what the most important thing to do is, how they should approach it, what they should do first, etc.
This type of relationship is complex, there are so many ingrained societal traditions that must be challenged and rethought, and the emotional and psychological impact on a man is huge. And certainly different women approach it differently with different ideas and goals in mind. But there is one thing that she needs to do immediately. She has to lock up his penis. She has to take control and make her authority clear. She has to break his masturbation habit.

(found here)

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Party crashers

Sometimes I get so horny that I think I must die

Ok, I stole this phrase. I read it a long time ago somewhere. But it comes close to how I am feeling right now.
My girlfriend has gone to bed early. Alone. She has eluded me for more than a week now. I don't think it's planned, it's just how she is. Our day-to-day life has not helped either, both have we been busy, with practically no time for being alone with each other. So I am left drying out. I've failed a couple of times my vow in the beginning of the week. But I won't fail anymore, I swear, before I get laid with her again. I must be strong or the whole thing becomes meaningless and I am reduced again to the sad internet-wanker I was.
Seduction, Friedo, seduction... Think! Make an effort! You didn't make a real effort last week, you have to admit it...
Tomorrow is another day!

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Childhood sweethearts

Bruno Schulz

This post is probably only of interest for a minority of our minority.

Bruno Schulz was a writer and artist of polish-jewish origin, and unlike Otto Schatz to whom I referred a couple of weeks ago, he did not survive the Holocaust. His stories, some of which you can read here, are perhaps even better than his drawings. The universe of his drawings reminds of Sardax, but I find Schulz' crude drawings much more haunting and authentic than Sardax' slick perfection. But, actually, I can't really say I like his drawings. They are so sad. The bad qualitiy of the little what has come upon us, drafts or poor photographic reproductions of etchings, makes it even worse. But I can't forget them. They scare me. Bruno Schulz scares me. He represents all that what could have become of me if I had lived in another time and culture. This little man, even before he fell victim to the Holocaust, led a sad and very insignificant life, consistent with his personality. Very timid, in his youth he was sent to Vienna to study architecture but failed for reasons impossible to reconstruct today. Since then he never more left his provincial hometown. He remained poor and lonely all his life, worked as a drawing teacher in a secondary school what he hated, and most certainly died a virgin.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Making my point

He is taking the picture. He is in control. She is on her knees, taking him from behind, submissive. Look how proud she is! She's collaborating for the photo. Look how good she feels! Who would you prefer to be?