Tuesday, June 21, 2011


I hope Ian Curtis - where he is now - won't mind the silly joke with his fantastic song. (The joke isn't mine, by the way, I found it in some blog.)
I probably will be offline for the next couple of weeks. It's time for a break and to trying to regain energy and inspiration. But I am quite confident I will be back with fresh ideas. Thanks to all visitors for your interest and very special thanks to those of you who have been so kind to comment! See you...

Friday, June 10, 2011


"Catamite"... I had to look up the word. The german expression that ocurred to me when I wrote the post is "Lustknabe", literally translated as "pleasure boy", and practically self explaining. See also here.

Monday, June 6, 2011


I remember the thrill when I - and most of german TV audience - first saw her in an episode of the popular crime series "Tatort". The series is quite well crafted, for german TV standards, but still a mainstream consumption product. No one expected this! The story was daring, almost scandalous on 70's TV: A love-affair between a schoolgirl and her teacher, naturally ending in disaster. I doubt that this film would be possible on primetime on german TV today, not because of the story in itself, but because today's awareness of child abuse would have minded the voyeuristic delight with which was displayed the nudity of a 15 year old actress and her sexual relation with a man twice her age! The direction was by the up to that day unknown Wolfgang Petersen, the photography was suggestive, and there was Nastassia! I was mesmerized, and frustrated in various ways.

First, that I was seeing the episode with my parents, and that I had to make an awkward effort to hide my arousal. I didn't see it at that time, but today I guess my father must have had the same problem... And then there was no chance to review the episode! No cable TV, no video. Well, there was VHS, but not in my home, nor was "Tatort" available.

From then on, I spent my time looking out for her, in magazines, on TV, in movies later. Luckily that yielded easy results, because her part in that Tatort was her breakthrough in Germany, and she appeared in every TV-magazine and other magazines, later in Playboy... I began collecting pictures of her, cutting them out of the mags - which I made disappear then for the reasons Jamie explained in his post - an hid them between the pages of my books.

I was not so young at that time anymore, seventeen, and though I couldn't have them at home, I had access to Playboy and Penthouse through a friend of mine, who lived in a family where he could leave them open in his room. Never without embarrassment - retiring with the mag to the bathroom in somebody else's house -, I made avail of them too. But the appeal of their much more explicit content - well, not at all explicit compared to today's standards - did not live up to the apparently much more harmless pictures of Nastassja.
Wanking over her pics, I sometimes imagined fucking her. But that was rare. More frequently I imagined just worshipping her, being her slave, kissing her feet, licking her pussy, being exceptionally allowed, as a reward, to kiss (not suck!) her tits...

And then, in my girly phases, I imagined being her. Imagined being Nastassja Kinski, not only looking like her, but having her life!
I began to envy her, to realize the great injustice of fate that it was her and not me who was a girl, and not only so beautiful and adorable, but also had the opportunities, the sexual opportunities, that come with it.
For exihibitionism, to begin with, for sex, of course, and for any kind of kink. If you look like her, you have no problem to find someone who'll do with you whatever you are dreaming of. I believe, in her case, she did take advantage of it. At 16, she was being fucked by Roman Polanski, and after all she was Klaus Kinski's daughter, that maniac's, famous for playing the pervert on screen, and for being it in his real life too.

But I know of a lot of beautiful girls who don't or don't to the extent they could and - in my modest opinion - should. What a waste!

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

My admiration

Look at her. She is a normal young woman. Pretty, not overly pretty. Well built. Her tits fit beautifully with her her youthful body, but they are very small. No tattoo, no piercings, an all too conventional haircut. This really is the girl next door.

Is she? She is kneeling on some strange piece of furniture, feet and hands locked in a block. She is fixed, she cant flee, she is being spanked, she is screaming of pain. I don't doubt her pain is genuine. The lack of any attire, the environment which features some other bdsm articles like the cage in the background, but also quite homely oak furniture and an equally homely and very ugly carpet, prove that here we are not in front of a scene set up but professional porn producers and actors, but in front of real people. Amateurs who are doing what they are doing because they love it. (That's what the word "amateur" literally says, by the way.)

The fact that it's all genuine, gets to me immensely. What makes a pretty young woman freely accept to be spanked so hard that she cant help but scream with all her lungs? - And to be photographed, while being thus humiliated, and show her face?

Oh, how I envy her! For her femininity, her youth, her tiny tits, and for her courage and ability to give herself up so fully to her desires, her needs. Even if they mean real pain, real humiliation, even if it means to live far from the conventional, far from the approved by society. She has got her priorities right. She has lept, out of convention, out of anonymity, into being who she really is.

I envy her. I admire her more.